Sunday, February 2, 2014

On Moving On For Reals

The last time I have written something personal was when I got my heart broken for the first time. Well, writing was my therapy then. When the pain healed and I became happy again, I didn't have the urge to write anymore.

A few days ago, we agreed to meet in a place which we consider as our comfort zone. As we were catching up with our stories, I realized how some traits stayed the same, how our own perspectives matured and how we learned from everything that had happened.

If breaking up is hard to do, moving on is even harder. The actual break-up only takes a couple of minutes but the process of moving on may take months and years.

Sometimes you two have moved on, but the people around you haven't yet. The people in your common circle will take sides. In my case, I think the judgement of these supposedly close people to me is more hurtful and more lingering than the break-up itself. Some people dwell on the breakup so much that they forgot the context leading to it.

You burn some bridges but you also build some. He knew back then that my world revolved on one thing only. After breaking up, I chose to become less active and explore the other side of the world I have now. I have met another group of friends and I've become close to them since.

Everything takes time. Patching up all the wounds of the broken relationship took years before everything and everyone was relieved. Now we can just laugh at our setbacks, remember and cherish the good times and learn from the bad times. If I were to read all the bitter posts I have written before (Thank you Multiply for deleting them) I would have been a little embarrassed for all the sentimentality and anger they have projected.

There really is a reason why you two didn't work out. I knew back then that the relationship has an expiration date. With all the pressures and the drama we both had as individuals, it was difficult to grow together. In our case breaking up because of another party wasn't the real reason, I believe it was something more internal to the relationship such as the words left unsaid and the actions left undone.

Friendship is still the best foundation of any romantic relationship. Some say that ex's cannot be friends anymore but I think there is an exception to that. If you were good friends to begin with, time will come that you can become friends again without any awkwardness.

You both deserve better. I found mine and I hope he will find his someone special someday.


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